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Eyes Without a Face:
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Eyes Without a Face:
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A picturesque July day. Billowy clouds shaping stories in the blue sky ... a dusky spider lurching from a silken thread ... gulls' wingtips sailing through the air ... these were my last images.
At seven years old I was a curious, bored, and rambunctious girl. School had been out for several weeks but to me it felt like a year. I wanted to do something different and exciting ... something grownup.
"Mom, when's Dad coming home? When can we eat? I'm hungry."
"Honey, just be patient. When Dad gets home, we'll have dinner. He's going to barbeque tonight." She was cutting vegetables and seemed preoccupied.
"I can barbeque," I boasted. "I've seen Dad do it a hundred times. We don't have to wait for him. I can barbecue and it would be all ready for when he gets home. I know. I'll surprise him."
"Now, Lucy," Mom gave me a look that meant I was treading on thin ice. "You are much too young to barbeque without Dad and you know it. Wait until he gets home and you can help him. Now go back outside and play until supper is ready."
Frustrated, I banged through the back door. I would show my mom how helpful I could be. I went into the garage and dragged the grill onto the driveway. Then I scooped out pieces of charcoal from the bag in the corner of the garage. After several trips I was certain that I had filled the grill adequately. I climbed up on a stool and slid the charcoal fluid off the shelf. I squirted it on each square of ebony charcoal. I could only think of how proud my parents were going to be. Dad had always said the grill had to be really sizzling to cook the food. I added just a few more squirts. I wanted the fire to be especially hot.
I found the matches on the shelf in the garage. I knew just what Dad would do. After several attempts I was able to get the wooden stick to light. I threw it into the fire. The grill exploded into an inferno. I was knocked back several feet and sat in shock—screaming.
My life became utterly distorted. I survived, but I was blind. They told me my corneas were dysfunctional. But all I knew was that I would live my life in a characterless fuzzy world of light and dark. I carry a snapshot of that day in my mind. My psyche tells me I've aged, but my mind only recalls my face as a young girl of seven. Every time I feel the warmth of the summer sun, I can see the vivid imagery, but the picture never changes—a picturesque July day, clouds, a spider ....
Date Posted: 03/24/03 nas
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